"The Week" news magazine quotes Retroality's Chris Mann on Suzanne Somers' controversial cancer book "Knockout"

The national current affairs magazine The Week quotes this blog!  (Chris Mann's more hard-hitting blogs also appear at Open Salon.)

Irlene Mandrell: "Countrywoman, mother, glamorous star, and someone you feel comfortable with around your own kitchen table" ... until she starts shooting

Ever find yourself sitting around wondering, "Hey, whatever happened to the Mandrell Sisters? No, not the one with talent who survived a car wreck only to then be played by Marcia Brady in a TV movie. No, not the one who did White Rain® hairspray commercials. The other one. You know, the lame one that Barbara and Louise used to mock on their early-'80s NBC variety show. Wait, they did mock her, didn't they? Maybe they just secretly resented her. Because the rest of the show—what with its reams of dime-store satin, countryfied caterwaulin' and inappropriate puppetry—was so unbelievably brilliant."

Anyway, if her official site's home page image (above) is any indication, Irlene Mandrell is now sick of your shit.

This could explain why her official Glamour Shot® now features her brandishing a gun.

Perhaps she wields it to knock off winged predators emerging from the bulletproof follicular nest perched atop Louise's noggin. Or perhaps she heard Shelley Hack wasn't quite working out on Charlie's Angels and wants to strike while the iron's hot. Either way, she's ready to take 1980 by storm.

 One of these things is not like the others. (It's not the purple one.)

Utter contempt? 

 

Bubbles are pretty.

Irlene's official bio says it all (and if it doesn't, are you really gonna argue with her?):

Irlene Mandrell is many things including countrywoman, mother, glamorous star, and someone you feel comfortable with around your own kitchen table ...

"Excuse me, Irl, but could you pass me another baked potato? Artillery makes me hungry!"

She has one of the most recognizable faces of today...

"Sure, hon, I totally recognize you. Especially with that pistol of yours to my head."


A devoted mother of three, Irlene still finds time to pursue her career. Actress, singer, dancer, comedian, percussionist, hunter, spokes model, and car racecar driver, Irlene does it all.

"Car racecar. Thanks for specifying, Irl. Would you mind playing 'Devil Went Down to Georgia' for me ... on that blood-soaked shotgun? You're so funny. And dancer-like. Screw those meat-puppet sisters of yours—any woman who can take out an elk while sleepin' single in a double bed can do it all. Hey, have you ever thought of running for president?"

Phallic-nosed Krofft puppet + tucked-in blouse = woman destined to wield a gun

Coming soon: Brady Bunch's Fake Jan exposed!

Retroality.TV's cover story is running a bit late this month! Soon we plan to post our exclusive interview with pop culture legend Geri Reischl, known in retro TV circles as The Brady Variety Hour's "Fake Jan." Here's a preview of our groovy cover art ... can you tell Real Jan from her spin-off doppleganger?

Check back soon—as soon as we receive Geri's answers to our interview questions this month, we'll post this story. She's got a great new site and a fun upcoming personal appearance to promote, so we know she's been busy. And we'll be thrilled to help spread the word about the fruit of her efforts!

Bob Barker Takes a Spin: The "Price is Right" Host on Donating $3 Million to U.S. Military Hospital and Being Sued for Million$ More

Bob Barker talks to FOX News about giving $3 million to the Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund. The money will aid in the construction of a new hospital treating U.S. military personnel experiencing traumatic brain injuries. Barker served as a naval aviator during World War II. The research, diagnosis and treatment facility, expected to open next year, will be located adjacent to the National Military Medical Center in Bethesda.

The Intrepid Fallen Heroes Fund has been raising money for the treatment center since 2007. The Fund also provides financial support for the families of U.S. military members killed in the line of duty.

"I am very happy to do whatever I can to support the brave men and women who have given so much in service to our nation," Barker said in a statement. "They have given so much for us; all Americans owe them a debt of gratitude for their tremendous service and sacrifice."

The legendary host also spills to FOX News about his first sexual harassment lawsuit and David Letterman's sex scandal. Barker was sued for sexual harassment in 1994 by show model Dian Parkinson and again in 2001 by longtime Price employee Sharon Friem. Parkinson dropped her suit in 1995.

According to Friem's suit, Barker "acted in a lecherous manner" toward Friem, "made a pass at her" and offered to buy her a condo "if she would let him come over to visit her once a week," despite Friem making "it clear on many occasions that she did not want to be involved with him in any way except professionally." Friem settled for an undisclosed sum in 2005.

As Price's executive producer since 1988, Barker also was sued in 2004 and again in 2007 by three African-American show staffers who alleged Barker's longtime producer, Phil Wayne, sexually harassed them while making racially-charged remarks to and about them. Wayne was fired from the show in 2005.

Too bad Bob didn't read our Top Ten List on air.

'80s-Tragic Mary Hart Crashes "Today Show" '70s "People" Magazine Shoot; Later Becomes Unintentionally Relevant When Plastic Face Falls Off to Reveal She's a Fembot