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Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Irlene Mandrell: "Countrywoman, mother, glamorous star, and someone you feel comfortable with around your own kitchen table" ... until she starts shooting


Ever find yourself sitting around wondering, "Hey, whatever happened to the Mandrell Sisters? No, not the one with talent who survived a car wreck only to then be played by Marcia Brady in a TV movie. No, not the one who did White Rain® hairspray commercials. The other one. You know, the lame one that Barbara and Louise used to mock on their early-'80s NBC variety show. Wait, they did mock her, didn't they? Maybe they just secretly resented her. Because the rest of the show—what with its reams of dime-store satin, countryfied caterwaulin' and inappropriate puppetry—was so unbelievably brilliant."

Anyway, if her official site's home page image (above) is any indication, Irlene Mandrell is now sick of your shit.

This could explain why her official Glamour Shot® now features her brandishing a gun.

Perhaps she wields it to knock off winged predators emerging from the bulletproof follicular nest perched atop Louise's noggin. Or perhaps she heard Shelley Hack wasn't quite working out on Charlie's Angels and wants to strike while the iron's hot. Either way, she's ready to take 1980 by storm.


 One of these things is not like the others. (It's not the purple one.)


Utter contempt? 
 
Bubbles are pretty.

Irlene's official bio says it all (and if it doesn't, are you really gonna argue with her?):

Irlene Mandrell is many things including countrywoman, mother, glamorous star, and someone you feel comfortable with around your own kitchen table ...

"Excuse me, Irl, but could you pass me another baked potato? Artillery makes me hungry!"

She has one of the most recognizable faces of today...

"Sure, hon, I totally recognize you. Especially with that pistol of yours to my head."


A devoted mother of three, Irlene still finds time to pursue her career. Actress, singer, dancer, comedian, percussionist, hunter, spokes model, and car racecar driver, Irlene does it all.

"Car racecar. Thanks for specifying, Irl. Would you mind playing 'Devil Went Down to Georgia' for me ... on that blood-soaked shotgun? You're so funny. And dancer-like. Screw those meat-puppet sisters of yours—any woman who can take out an elk while sleepin' single in a double bed can do it all. Hey, have you ever thought of running for president?"


Phallic-nosed Krofft puppet + tucked-in blouse = woman destined to wield a gun






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